...and gross sales
at $13 million in the last fiscal year.
In advertising and promotional expenditures of 2 million,
$845,000 were reported.
These expenditures were primarily...
by "primarily," I mean about 96% of these expenditures,
were for Richter's two main retail brands.
These brands made up over 85%
of the company profits in the last fiscal year,
an increase of some 14% from the previous year.
This increase is based on sales of $16,800,000.
Total sales were up only $200,000
in the last fiscal year,
even with an increase in advertising expenditures
of $872,000.
So, while the sales of Wh-Whiz Bam
and Cherry Poppie Balls ar-ar-are up.
Uh, sales for their retail brand, Chocorama...
Yeah, Smith.
Gumball.
Would you repeat that?
Gumball.
Okay, let's wrap it up for today, gentlemen.
Thank you.
Gumball!
Aah!
Will you take a look at this for me?
Here we go.
To him who accepts the challenge,
- Do you know what he's talking about? - to him who risks all...
comes the satisfaction of victory
and a sense of physical well-being
in return for...
I want you to get this...
In return for hardship,
exhaustion, discomfort.
Ponos.
Thank you very much.
Hi, Sam.
Bannon?
It's on. We're a go.
Look. I... I've been giving this matter
a lot of thought,
and... look, you don't have anything to lose.
I mean, to you, this thing is just a stunt.
I've got a position at this university,
I've got a shot at tenure.
All I have to do is stay out of trouble
a couple of more years,
I'll be set for life.
I can't risk that.
It's not a risk.
It's a challenge.
Hey, get out of the way! What's the matter with you?
What are you, deaf, you hippie freak?
I can't eat with all this noise going on.
Come on.
Let's take him.
Car 34, come in.
Uh, this is car 34. Over.
Yeah, we got a telegram for you clowns.
Does, uh, "gumball" mean anything to you?
Uh, negative. 10-4.
Let's go.
That's beside the point...
I've got that chicken in the oven.
Hi, Oscar.
The kids' clothes are all laid out.
Okay, don't worry.
Just have a good time.
I will. Bye, Oscar. See you.
- Have a good time. - All right.
Kids, be good. Listen to your daddy.
You would think
she was planning the D-day invasion
instead of a weekend in the country.
Attention, please.
All passengers holding tickets...
Excuse me.
- Thank you. - on TWA flight number 132 to New York...
Hi. Smoking.
Be careful. Be careful with the liquor cabinet.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Andy, you know how often my wife
tried to get me to get rid of this car?
Well, that's German machinery for you.
The car outlasted her.
Sedately, Barney...
as befits our years and station in life.
Of course.
Ladies and gentlemen...
Ace Preston, Mr. "Guts" himself,
is in the white car revving up.
He will attempt the death-defying
Russian T-bone... a nose-dive into oblivion.
And there he goes,
and where he stops, nobody knows!
Ladies and gentlemen...
Ace Preston on the high speed.
Go, Ace. Go!
A T-bone served by Mr. "Guts."
Whoo!
Hey. What do you say, buddy?
I didn't have time to change.
Aren't you excited about this thing?
No. I'll be glad when it's over.
Well, I don't expect to live forever.
Don't worry, kid, you won't.
Excuse me.
May I give you a flower?
I am a stranger in this country.
And I've never seen such a beautiful woman
in all my life.
You see, I would like to know,
maybe you could inform me of a hotel.
Here we are, old buddy.
New York, New York.
The Big Apple!
I feel ready. I'm pumping up.
I've been pumped up.
Yeah.
Ah, Franco.
Prego. Come sta?
- Fine. Thank you. And you? - Good.
How's the bambino?
She's-a full-a gas, she's-a wait for you.
Hey, you make a good Italian.
Lieutenant Roscoe?
Mike Pakowsky, N.Y.P.D.
How are you?
The car's outside. I'll take you downtown now.
I got a brother-in-law in L.A.
Two marties and a double man.
Gumball.
They're coming in now.
All of them.
I'm going to stay here on the stakeout.
It's 9:05.
I'll check in again at 10:00.
Graves.
In through there, please.
Uh, right through that door,
there's a banquet room.
Thank you.
It was just a misunderstanding.
Oh, that's what you call it?
I call it a lie!
Well, it's after 9:30.
That's the deadline.
Should we close it up, Mr. Bannon?
Yeah. Put Fred on the door.
I want that room sealed.
Ladies...
Gentlemen...
You have been selected
because you have the necessary skills.
You are here
because you have the determination to succeed.
Now, it won't be as easy as last year.
There are some who will use any means to try and stop us.
Some of you won't make it.
For those of you who do,
there will be no glory,
no headlines...
But just a few magic hours,
flat out against the red line,
with no catalytic converter,
and no 55-mile-an-hour speed limit.
Ladies and gentlemen...
the Gumball Rally has begun!
- Yay! - Yeah! Yeah!
Whoo! Bravo!
Now, for those of you who've never done this before,
I think I'd better go over the rules.
Uh, the first thing to remember
is that there are no rules.
The first vehicle to reach the parking lot
at the Queen Mary in Long Beach
is the winner...
the unofficial winner...
Because this is an unofficial race,
and so it follows that none of us are really in this race.
We don't want any, uh, civilian involvement.
No accidents...
please?
Remember it's 2,900 miles.
That...
34 hours and 11 minutes... is the record...
set last year by our dear friend Mr. Bannon.
Now, I know we all ought to get some rest tonight.
Uh, but... may I?
I'd like to propose a toast.
To internal combustion...
and wind in the face.
You know, I think Roscoe's
got a grudge against you, Smitty,
from last year.
Hey, why do I always get blamed for everything anyway?
Because you're a schemer.
It's going to be a lot different
from last year anyway, you know.
Yeah, I noticed.
You brought a real ringer with you this time.
A what?
Well, you know. Your friend... Franco.
What do you mean? What's he ever won?
Le Mans, Grand Prix de Monaco?
What does that mean?
He's coming along
because he's a real nice guy.
Don't you think it's a bit like
trying to kill a butterfly with a hammer?
Oh, stop, will you?
You make me feel ashamed of myself.
Oh, Smitty, don't worry.
Sam and I will do our best.
Yeah, but isn't it funny, though, you know?
Sometimes in life when your best just isn't...
quite good enough, you know?
You're still bitter, huh?
No. No, I'm not.
Oh, yes, you are.
No. I'm... I'm going to win,
that's all.
Don't get overconfident.
Um...
Let's, uh...
flip to see who takes care of Roscoe, hmm?
Oh, yeah. Right.
Tails.
Oop. Wrong.
Oh, no. Why do I always get him?
I'll take care of him the morning of the race.
Mr. McAllister, Mr. Donahue!
Mr. McAllister.
Mr. McAllister, Mr. Donahue!
Here you are, sir.
Barney, I'm hungry.
Oh! I'm sorry, sweetheart.
Bull's-eye!
Hit the trunk, old buddy.
Ah. Lookie! Here.
Extra uniforms...
All of them for along the way.
Look at this. Police decals.
All you gotta do
is just stick them on the doors.
Hey, give me a hand with the lights.
Give it a try.
Oh.
Can you imagine?
Do you believe that?
You guys, listen to this.
Look, I been figuring.
With 200 gallons of gas back here,
we don't have to make one damn stop. Not one.
- Ever seen anything like this? - No, nice.
Wait till you hear it run, man.
I got that computer information en route...
the weather and the traffic and the road conditions.
What's the matter, Jose?
Nothing, Mr. Bannon. I'm okay.
Hey, don't let all this stuff get you down.
Hey, I'm fine. What do I care?
I mean, if I wanted to go, I could go.
I mean, it's a free country, right?
I mean, this whole race is unofficial,
so I'm as unofficial as you are,
see, if I wanted to go, I'd go.
If I had a car.
It's my girlfriend, you see.
She tells me yesterday,
"No more dates on the subway."
I tell you something.
In this country, you ain't nothing...
if... if you got no wheels.
Oh, I don't know.
You been on the roads, lately?
I think the age of the motorcar is over.
Hey, Mr. Bannon,
is it okay if I take a few hours off?
Sure, th...
Okay, kill it.
Kill it!
Why don't you hurry up?
I'm gonna have to redo everything you've done.
Jeez, Mike, what did you think this was,
a vintage car event?
Well, Smitty,
some things get meaner as they get older.
Well, it's real cute.
Very fast. Very uncomfortable.
That's good, though. That's macho.
That's good for you.
That old Smitty.
You know, we've been competing in everything...
sports, school, girls.
20 years of competition
can sometimes get out of hand.
Why didn't he buy
the rest of the Ferrari team
while he was at it?
I'm not so sure he didn't.
Hey, where is that Italian flash, anyway?
Franco? Hasn't showed up all day.
He's probably resting up.
Yeah. Getting his plugs cleaned.
Vrroom. Vrroom, vrroom, vrroom.
I must go now...
my darling.
Will you write?
If I can.
I mean...
I never met anyone who was going to Borneo.
It is not a pleasure trip.
Be careful, Franco.
I cannot do the work I must
and also be careful.
Then be lucky.
That's better.
♪ Placida è l'onda ♪
♪ Prospero è il vento ♪
♪ Venite all'agile Barchetta mia ♪
♪ Santa Lucia ♪
♪ Santa ♪
♪ Lucia ♪
This is Red Fox to Barracuda.
Red Fox to Barracuda.
Now, I figure
they're gonna leave late tonight
or early tomorrow morning.
As soon as I see them go, I'll let you know,
and I want roadblocks
on every bridge and tunnel going west.
Do you copy?
Now, as the contract reads,
no driving after 6 p.m.,
not to exceed 55 miles per hour.
You're bonded?
Of course.
Mr. Blakely is a connoisseur of fine automobiles.
But for California driving,
he's especially fond of this one.
Minga!
You may go.
Sure.
Gently.
Gently!
Drive carefully.
Jesus, it's a hit.
We still haven't got the food.
What are we going to eat?
Oh, Franco. Where you been?
Your mother called.
She's been looking for you everywhere.
Now you make-a jokes on my mother, huh?
No, no, no. About your mother.
Not on your mother, Franco.
I wouldn't get on your mother.
Just-a like in Monte Carlo...
jokes.
You insult-a me.
You insult-a my family.
You insult-a my country, my honor!
My dignity you insult!
I warned you...
but you wouldn't listen!
No more jokes!
You see this-a?
No more jokes!
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Very good, Franco.
You like?
Yeah, it's very nice.
Where is the... the professore!
Hey, professore in the pee-Pee.
Ah!
Are you always like this?
Franco is ready.
The race-a can begin.
Here we go, Andy.
- Porsche, 2! - Good for you.
Ha ha ah ha!
6 for the Dodge.
All right.
Cobra, 4.
Boo!
Whoo hoo!
Cobra!
3, uh, Ferrari.
Jaguar...
10.
Take your number there.
Ah... number 1.
Whoo!
Number 8.
Who's holding 8?
It's Lapchik, the lone eagle.
Those are your starting positions.
Jose will start every vehicle.
You got something to do?
You're, uh, you're starting times
will be registered here and in Long Beach,
and your elapsed time will all be verified,
so, uh, that's it. Let's get some rest.
Hmm?
It's done, brother.
Go.
Okay.
Get ready.
All right, ladies and gentlemen,
start your engines!
And now, my friend,
the first-a rule of Italian driving.
What's-a behind me is not important.
Well, buddy, here's to us
and that we get there first.
Why don't you give New York,
one of those famous rebel yells of yours
before we hit the street?
You know, just to start my blood.
Whoooo!
Whoo-whoo-whoo- whoo-whoo!
Camaro.
6:00. Off!
Porsche. 6 and 10.
Go!
It's going down.
Off!
What's the hell is the matter with you guys?
Where are you?
Cobra. 6:00 and 30 seconds.
Go!
Bastards!
They're not going to do it again!
Mercedes.
6 and 40. Off!
You animal!
51st street.
Bravo! Times Square!
It's going to be a nice day.
Good morning.
Hey, hey, hey!
Good morning to you! Ha ha ha!
Adios!
Sons of bitches.
Miserable son of a bitch!
Hey, fella, can you loan me a dime?
Drop your pants.
Look, I'm a cop on the job.
I'm Robin Hood!
Drop them!
Okay.
Real easy, fella.
Drop them.
It's okay. It's okay.
Okay. Just stay calm, huh?
Sss!
Honk if you're horny!
Hit it!
Whoo!
It's fun, ain't it?
You can't go back. It's one way!
What do you want me to do?
Will you calm down?
You should have checked the route.
I mean, wait, you blaming me?
Ah, damn it!
This is one way, too!
I am only going one way.
Wake up, meatheads.
Another great day is starting in New York City,
the Big Apple.
Get up. Get ready. The Giants won 7-Zip,
believe it or not.
The Age of Aquarius is really on us.
Now, the Eastern Standard Time is five minutes past 6:00.
You want to go fast?
No, it's all right. We got plenty of time.
Hey! Watch where you're going!
Now we take a left over here, right?
But we got to go left.
Watch out, Joey! You'll ruin the car!
What's the matter with you?
Will you take it easy, for God's sakes!
Joey, slow down a minute!
I'm not lost.
Damn it! Make a left over here!
Hey! Did you know there's a hole back there?
No shit.
And a hungry smile.
Can you look hungry for me?
This is Uncle Bruce.
Hussy, get hungry, hungry...
$150-a-Night hungry for me.
You know the feeling. Good! Good! I like that.
I love that. I love that look.
Fans. Hungry fans. Click.
Thank you.
Thank you. That's the end of the session,
and it's been... it's been all right.
Hey, baby.
How do you like it?
Oh, terrific. You stole it, right?
Come on. I'm in a rush.
Come on, get in.
Let me have it. Here.
So how do you like it, huh?
This is real class...
I mean, real class.
Come on! Turn it on!
What, is this the switch?
That's it!
Hey, maybe we should... wait a minute.
Christ, if this thing works...
some city you got here.
I didn't know what size to bring.
I said, better too big than too little.
Did you get any of them?
We didn't put it out.
We were waiting to hear from you.
They snipped my radio.
How about your car?
The wheels fell off.
Oh, those guys sound mean.
Take me to the airport.
Now?
Hey, you got to learn
to roll with the punches, Roscoe.
Llllllll!
Harold, how you been?
Hey, that's Crazy Harold.
How long do we have to drive anyway?
If we're lucky, about 35 hours.
Where we going, Cuba?
No, Long Beach, California.
Stop.
No, I can't.
No, no. Stop. I mean, you can't.
You pull over to the side. Just stop and let me out.
I forgot to tell you something.
I'm in a race.
- And I can't go back. - I don't care what you're in.
- I'm getting out. - You gotta stay.
Pull over to the side, or I'm jumping.
No, you ain't gonna do.
No, wait a minute. No, wait a minute. Close that door!
Take it easy, now. Just take it easy.
We'll get there.
From the garage to the Jersey Turnpike...
6 minutes, 58 seconds.
That's 15 seconds better than last year.
Terrific!
You got the snooper working?
Get a weather report on the CB.
You got it!
All you truckers out there,
this is Big Ben in Jolly Green.
We got a little light snow coming in from Pennsylvania.
♪ Roll on ♪
♪ Yellow Camaro ♪
Exact change. 25 cents.
Whoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!
Well, we're heading south.
We got plenty of open road.
You're a spastic.
I was also all-state in basketball.
That's it. I don't have any more quarters.
So get out of the car.
You got a quarter?
Come on!
Get out of the car.
Aw, shit.
Get that tin can out of the way!
Where do you think it is?
- Under the car. - What?
Under the car.
If I was a quarter, where would I be?
Where did it go?
Pull on through. Park in section "D."
How about explaining that last move, buddy?
What's a Smokey the Bear?
Highway patrol.
Plain brown wrapper?
Uh... City policeman.
Oh... Unmarked car?
Police car.
County Mountie?
Uh... County sheriff.
And a local yokel.
City policeman.
You're so smart, the next time out,
I'm going to make sure you get a driver's license.
Well, happy hunting, Roscoe.
Sorry about the pants.
And you call yourself New York's finest.
Well, I got you all out of New York.
See you later, Sir Roscoe.
Taxi!
- Taxi. - The crusade is straight ahead!
Now, our crew is going ahead in a plane.
They got spare parts, everything we're going to need.
Now, I've got all these stops here marked and coordinated.
Beautiful!
What the hell are you doing?
Ah, she is-a magnificent!
Look, this is a race, man!
Some things are more important than winning.
Maybe the float's stuck.
Maybe it's the humidity.
England is humid.
I feel like Moses
at the parting of the Red Sea!
Hey, man. This is no good.
What's the matter, huh?
Well, take a look. It's too easy.
Yeah, yeah.
It's too easy until somebody nails us.
This is Flying Lasagna coming in to the oven.
Do you copy?
10-4. The oven is hot.
See that gas station?
Let's pull off there.
Let's get-a ready. One man take them...
brilliant.
Brilliant!
Thank you.
Preston!
What do you want?
I got to take a leak.
No, thank you. I'm not going to stop
so you can take a piss.
There's a bottle in the back.
I can't do that.
I'm not going to stop until we need gas.
I can't hold it, buddy.
I'm telling you, use the bottle.
I tried this once going 60. Didn't work then.
Well, if you're coordinated,
once you start... you won't stop.
Hey! Come on!
Stop.
I'm getting this all over my hands!
My hands are wet!
You're a dumb son of a bitch sometimes.
I don't know why I even hang around with you or anything.
I wouldn't have done this to you!
Those dirty son of a bitches.
I hope there's tough justice in Illinois.
I want to nail them, sheriff,
and this ought to do it.
Then what?
Then I'm going to turn them over to you,
and you can throw away the key.
You'll be doing this country a favor.
That's what!
Now we can start running.
How's our time?
Right on schedule!
I wonder what old Roscoe is doing now.
Developing an ulcer.
Ha ha ha ha!
Hey, steady, huh?
She is a-happy.
They're coming!
Goddamn. Was that Roscoe?
I wonder if he set us up.
Oh, terrific.
Oh.
I got them now.
Jeez, I'd love to see the look on their faces.
How fast are you going?
Just-a a-100.
Well, let's hit it. Avanti!
Thank you, my dear friend.
Jesus! We're going over 100 knots!
Well, come on, step it up, buddy.
Hey, what's the matter?
Sir, we can't catch them.
He must be going 180 miles per hour.
We don't even have a fixed-wing airplane that could catch that.
Ha ha ha ha!
Now what?
Take me to the airport.
It's a handsome design.
I wish it ran.
I'm going to tell you something, Harry,
this thing handles like a pig.
Hey, I think it'll get better.
Wait till we use up some of the gas.
This thing's a bear to handle.
What's up, Harry?
I don't know, but did we break anything?
I don't know. Maybe we'd better stop.
Are you kidding, stop?
I guess we're all right.
Roll on.
Hey, look!
What the hell's the matter with him?
I think he's having a nightmare.
You don't see?
Oh, Jesus Christ!
- Fire. Fire. - You can't outrun it, you asshole!
Pull this thing off the road!
Whoa!
I hope you learn from this experience.
I made this drive once before
in 1946 in a Mercury coupe.
Is that so?
Ah, but it's different now.
Yes, newer roads, older bodies.
Yeah, too much too late.
But if I have to die, Andy,
I want to die trying.
Good.
Would you say that man Lapchik
has a certain joie de vivre?
I'd say he's possessed
of a severe case of masochism.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
I think it was a meteor.
That's what it was.
You okay, huh? You okay?
Yeah, I think so.
Who's that guy?
Yeah!
Whoa!
Keep your eye on the road.
Just getting my rhythm up.
Keep up the speed, will you?
Well, I am keeping up the speed.
It's just so boring out here,
my mind's starting to drift.
This is America, Gibson, and America's not boring.
Yeah? Well, motel signs, café signs,
one-way signs, "do not enter" signs,
and every other kind of sign,
it all looks the same to me.
Now, back there, we saw a reptile farm.
That's more right down my alley.
Get my hands on a boa contractor.
The word is "constrictor"!
And don't slow down. Move it!
Why did I pick him for a mechanic?
Because I'm the best, that's why.
Oh, what in the name of farm corn,
did he come from?
I told you to keep your eyes on the road!
How am I supposed to keep my eyes on the road,
have a good time,
think about my girlfriend,
and do all this, huh? Tell me!
You're a product of too much inbreeding.
- Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! - Watch out, P.D.
- We did it! - Hit it. You got yours.
It's those damn fake cops.
Ha ha ha ha!
Will you move it now!
Damn it if you can't take a joke.
I want to go home.
You say you want to be a movie star,
that you want to be somebody.
I mean, you take acting classes,
you take dance classes,
you work hard.
Where the hell do you think
you're going to be discovered...
standing on a corner in Queens? Huh?
I mean, baby, listen.
Now...
In Hollywood.
Do you really think so?
Baby, I... I, I really like you.
You should try to be nice to me.
You know, you should try to...
to understand.
Oh.
Huh?
I do.
What are you doing?
Aah!
Just take the wheel!
You're crazy!
Aah!
Hey, you guys!
Jesus Christ!
Whitey, Whitey, you okay, boy?
Talk to me!
Hello out there, this is Hoosier.
I'm a-coming in from the Cactus Patch.
Rolling on to Derby City.
Got Smokeys all over 40 giving out green stamps
as you ride the cloverleaf into the Buckeye, hear?
You can put the hammer down
and watch out for two little beavers
in a black speed boat coming your way,
and they are broken.
They got ears. Do you copy?
It's that damn Smith.
He's the one who links up all this mess.
He's a damned overaged juvenile delinquent,
and I want him.
I want to suspend his license in perpetuity.
Who's Smith?
The thorn in my side, captain.
The cloud over my head.
Baker spotted them about 5 miles back.
They should be here soon. They're flying.
He must be doing over 160.
I've never saw anything so damn fast.
I got them!
Get everybody in position.
All right. Come on, let's go get them.
See that truck up here?
Pull in behind it,
and blow the horn.
You're fantastic!
I thought you'd like that.
Bravo! Bravo!
Maybe they stopped.
Send a car up the road.
What's up?
Any speeders pass you back there?
Nobody passed me within 15 miles.
Okay, get out of here!
What happened,
somebody rob a bank or something?
None of your damn business!
Just move it out!
There's no sign of them anywhere.
Well, they couldn't just have vanished into thin air.
I'll be a son of a bitch.
Where are you going?
Follow me!
Open it up.
Open it!
Are you happy?
Get it out of here.
It's so easy on these interstates!
Can you imagine making this trip
at 55 miles an hour?
55 miles an hour is unsafe.
It's boring.
That's why it's unsafe.
Well, it's fast enough to kill you,
but it's slow enough
to make you think you're safe.
What time have you got?
6:00.
Great! 12 hours!
1/3 of the trip!
I think it's terminal.
This is Casey Kasem on America's Top 40...
in Colorado Springs,
you're listening to casey Kasem's America's Top 40
on KYFM,
where the temperature is now 34 degrees and dropping.
♪ America's Top 40 ♪
Hey, hey, fella? What's the matter?
You cold or something?
Hey, hey.
Take it easy, okay?
Everything's going to be okay.
Stay calm, okay?
Stay calm.
Okay?
Okay, Dr. Pepper.
- Okay. - Chop-chop. Let's go, huh?
Okay, let's make it. Hey, my man!
Boy, attaboy.
There's those damn fake cops.
They see us?
Let's not wait around to find out.
Yes! Oklahoma!
Land of the red man. Land of the cowboy.
Land of the cow and the dog.
Sailing, Ace. You're sailing, buddy.
I don't believe it!
What?
It's those guys.
I think they're going to pull the same stunt!
They must think you're pretty stupid.
Yeah... ha ha ha ha.
Boy, that car moves!
Well, put it on 140!
If he catches us, I'll eat my Airedale.
Hey, that's a real sheriff, man.
That is a real...
sheriff.
I'll get you, you mother...
Whoo! Ha ha ha!
He lost his engine!
Whoo!
Go get them, fellas!
Get them! Go get them!
They went that-a-way!
Catch up to them! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
I thought you said you could drive.
What the hell you talking about?
Man, there was oil back there on the road!
Fill it up, please.
Shut it off! Shut it off!
Hello.
Where are you going?
Los Angeles.
Driving all night-a?
Yes.
Alone?
Yes.
You like me?
Yes.
Excuse-a one moment.
Uh, don't go away.
I... I have a small problem.
Huh?
A small problem, huh?
Oh, yeah, I'm sure you do. Forget it.
She's-a very sweet.
- She's-a got breasts like a ripe melons. - Forget it, will you?
Come on. Come on! Let's go.
She's beautiful. She wants-a me now.
I cannot deny her.
That's impossible.
She's so sweet!
We can make up the time!
It's impossible. Forget it.
Get in the car, will you?
No! No! No!
I don't get into the car! No!
Okay.
I'll see you later.
Arrivederci, my friend!
Ugh! I hate beer!
Yeah, you hate everything.
I'm getting real bored lately.
What you're getting is real boring lately.
Did you see that one?
One of them foreign jobs.
- Yeah, and it had two girls in it. - Let's go.
Go! Go!
We got a terrific stretch of road
the next 25 miles.
Don't do anything weird, Joe.
The last time they locked us up.
Don't worry about it! These dollies are ready!
Waa-ah!
Ohh! Waa!
Hey, they're kind of cute.
Huh?
Oh, you got to be kidding me.
Yeah. Maybe I'll just tease them a little bit
and have some fun.
Howdy, ma'am!
Howdy, mister.
Hey, where do you wind this thing up?
Hey, you old enough to drink?
I'm old enough to do a lot of things, mister.
Did I tell you? Did I tell you?
Hey, slow that thing down! It's gonna break.
What do you want to do... play doctor?
Ohh! I'm in love! I'm in love!
Sweetheart...
if you catch me...
you can have me.
Are you kidding?
Go!
Go. This is a dream come true!
Get on it! Go!
That was really dumb.
Oh, they'll never catch up with us.
Drive, Earl! Drive!
Well, goddamn.
Franco, you're miss all the fun.
Vroom, vroom.
Mmm.
Goddamn!
Where's Franco?
We must have lost him somewhere.
It's a difficult thing to think about
at 2:00 in the morning.
Well, I guess I can ease up now.
Feeling better?
Oh, my God.
Oh!
Well?
Andy, I need an inspiration.
Yes, it's that time of the morning.
Something to make the blood hot.
What would you say to a bit of Henry V?
Oh, you're a mind reader.
Ha ha!
"Once more into the breach, dear friends,
once more."
"O, follow your spirit.
"And on this charge cry,
"God for Harry,
England, and Saint George!"
Christ.
I hope Lapchik the mad Hungarian sees that.
He came off right here!
He's got to be down there.
Man, he's got to be down there.
Hey! Hey, fella, are you all right?
They're going to be leaving Nevada on Interstate 15.
That's the way they're going to be coming,
and they'll be coming through this junction.
You haven't had too much luck before.
Yeah, but they were forewarned.
They've got CB radios.
They could listen to everything we say.
I mean, there was no way around it.
I can't understand how, but they did it.
They did it.
This time, this time, it's going to be planned.
Really planned.
Boy, you really want them bad.
Gentlemen, this is Roscoe's last stand!
Don't let go of the accelerator.
For you, you lovely American animal.
Remember Franco.
The quickest man I know.
Bye!
Bella! Bella!
What the hell?
She can-a drive, huh?
Yeah. Bannon and Graves got by last night.
Well, let them have their brief moment of glory.
Yeah. We'll be in Nevada pretty soon.
Nevada!
Las Vegas! Civilization.
The dancing girls
with the bouncing boom-booms.
Oh, shut up, will you, with that?
- Hey, what's that car? - Look at that piece there.
That's a rolls-Royce, you asshole.
Hey. Ain't she sweet?
She looks lonely.
- Wahoo! - Yeah!
I love it! I love it!
Hey. Come on, Angie, come on.
Let's go.
Let's get her!
Come on. Cut that cleaning crap. Get in the car.
I'm going to get a coke.
Get your ass in the car. Come on, Angie.
Look at it! Look at it!
Ya-ha ha!
Let's go, baby!
Come on, baby!
Angie!
Come on!
Come on, baby.
I ain't going to hurt you.
- One little kiss, hey? - Angie.
I just want to salute your bicentennial flag.
One little kiss for me.
Oh, I can reach out and grab them.
Ehhh!
Come on, baby.
It's going to be you, you, me and all my friends!
Boo!
Hey, send her out.
Yeah. Come on, brother,
- cut your initials in that truck. - Oh, jeez.
Ha ha ha!
Hey, come on out. We won't hurt you.
Come on!
Get out!
I'll get you, faggot!
Quit stalling.
Go.
Hey! You watch that bike.
I'm warning you, you little...
Look what you did!
You got some nerve
to go out and get some Coca-Cola.
Come on, go, go!
Let's get them! Let's go!
Those pigs!
Oh, shit.
They coming after us.
We're going to get you!
Oh, you know what's gonna happen now?
They're gonna rape you,
and they're gonna kill me.
Oh, really?
Maybe they'll kill me and rape you.
Oh, we're going to get you.
Do something!
What do you want me to do?
Christ, I hate this country.
Hey, knock it off!
Whoa!
What the hell do they want?
Hey, baby, want a ride?
Whoa!
Aah!
Oh, shit.
Hey, old buddy.
Huh? Hmm?
Wake up, man.
Lookie here.
What now?
Oh, jeez.
Uh...
Turn back 6 yards, then punt.
You know, you fellas
were doing just about 90.
Oh. Really?
Um, okay, okay, okay.
Cut, cut, cut.
Hey. Hey, man, was it me?
The line was supposed to be,
"Let me explain."
Oh, damn.
Sure is a funny-looking police car.
Say, uh...
what police department
are you fellas from anyway?
None.
Impersonating an officer, huh?
Just turn around there,
- stand easy up against the car. - Hey.
- Oh, come on. - Wait a minute, now.
We, uh...
we're on film right now.
What do you mean, you're on film?
What, are you making a movie?
Yeah, sure. I mean,
the camera's right up there on that mountaintop.
Well, nobody informed me about that.
Well, that's obvious.
I mean, you think we'd be riding around
in this rinky-dink police car
with chocolate cookies on the dashboard
if it weren't for a movie?
Well, I wouldn't know anything about that.
All I know is the law's still the law.
Listen, officer, you... I mean, absolutely.
You're right. I mean, we were speeding,
But, uh...
oh, hey, wait a minute.
This is perfect.
You could help us.
Help you?
Help you do what?
Sure.
The whole mise-en-scene
that leads into the exposition,
and the dénouement... and the intention.
It's perfect!
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Let me get this straight.
Are you trying to tell me
that you want me to be in your movie?
Well, uh...
I mean, uh...
that is, if you've got five minutes,
and you know, if you'd like to be in a hollywood film, sure.
I don't know, I...
Heh heh.
Avila, call Clint and see if they're ready, okay?
And tell them that we have Officer, uh...
Williams.
Officer williams here, and we'd like to use him.
- God, you sure got a good-looking smile. - Okay.
Hey, old buddy.
They want to see his face.
Officer Williams, step down over here by your car for me.
For just a second, would you, please?
Sure.
Let's just kind of stand over here or something.
Posed... You know, something like that, huh?
- Yeah. - All right.
This is all preliminary stuff for the camera folk.
- Sure. - Focus, stuff like that.
- Do you know what I mean, okay? - How's that?
Yeah, fine. Just...
- Just turn the chin around a little. - Yeah.
No, no. Just a...
Just give me the chin
a little bit this way. That...
Oh, I see what you mean.
Yeah. You got it.
God, you got a great profile.
Hey, old buddy, they got it, and they say it's a-okay.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
All right, okay. Now, listen.
This is what we're gonna do.
Avila and I are gonna get in the car,
we're gonna go down the road about 2 miles, okay?
Then we're gonna turn around
and come barrel-assing back through this way.
Then you get in your...
I get in my car and chase you.
You got it. That's it.
Perfect!
Hey, wait a minute.
Don't I got to put on some makeup?
Makeup?
Hey,
does Charlie Bronson wear makeup?
Charlie who?
Bronson.
Oh, yeah.
That little guy, right.
All right, old buddy.
Come on, let's go. They're rolling.
Oh, okay.
Scene 14,
take 2...
hand mark!
Aw, come on, now, let me see them pearly whites.
Smile. That's it.
Action!
♪ Oh, going down the road ♪
♪ Big old Queen Mary ♪
♪ Can you smell the Queen Mary's butt? ♪
Frrrt. Phew!
God, can't you turn off the heater?
Either the engine gets hot,
or we get hot!
Well, I'm going to have a stroke.
You're going to have a stroke?
I should be so lucky.
Because if you don't stop playing that music...
I'm going to kill you!
I swear to God!
I'm going to kill you!
I liked Joe.
He was sweet.
Aren't you going to talk to me anymore?
You got to admit, he was a good mechanic.
He fixed the car faster than we could.
Furthermore,
we didn't lose much time.
We made time, as a matter of fact.
It was love at first sight.
Are you crazy?
Love at first sight?
Out there in the middle of the night?
In the middle of a field under the stars?
A girl can't always find the perfect spot.
Why do I always get the big boy?
Heck. They don't need you.
Yeah. They chew us out for losing the car.
I think Roscoe's gonna give it one more try before L.A.
I didn't hear anything on the radio.
Maybe he's getting smart.
Howdy.
Just couldn't help but overhear your conversation.
Oops. Wrong. Thank you.
I'm gonna get back on the road.
No, no, no, no, no. There's too many police cars
go down the road this morning.
You see where they went?
Nope, but I could find out.
Now, you got a deal.
Ha ha ha.
You guys seem to need a rabbit.
Are you, uh, volunteering?
Oh, listen, listen, listen.
I play, but I... I play for pay.
You want the road cleared out,
it's going to cost you $500 cash paid in advance.
$500 paid in advance.
Ha ha ha.
Could be worth it.
Yeah, well, uh...
suit yourselves, okay?
Oh...
they don't make babies like this anymore.
Give me six for the lead time, okay?
That's the ugliest car I ever saw.
Looks like a jukebox.
Well, I got them.
Right behind me yet a Ferrari and a Cobra.
How far back?
You want to talk about that,
let's have the money, huh?
That's it.
Thanks, uh...
Lieutenant.
Get out of here.
Want one of those?
No, thanks.
You know, uh...
I smell something.
Do you smell something?
Yeah. A weasel in a rabbit suit.
Old Roscoe, huh?
Maybe we're being too cynical.
We should be more positive,
more trusting.
Oh, get out of here, will you?
Let's go.
Sam.
We're 27 minutes ahead of last year's schedule,
but Franco's driving again.
Well, with a little bit of luck
and some pure Yankee style...
All right, you two, up on the hill with the other car.
All right. Everybody hear this.
It's plan "B."
Move out!
Come on, now! Move out! Get moving.
Number one! Move it! Move it!
Come on, you guys. Let's hustle it here.
Come on!
Take it out of here.
Get them out of here.
How inadequate.
Ready.
55 miles an hour, Roscoe.
No.
Why?
Wh-why me?
You're an asshole, Roscoe.
That's why.
♪ I got the bad western blues ♪
Well, good morning to you, too.
How can you fall asleep?
It was easy. You said "Relax,"
and the car is comfortable.
Comfortable? It's a $40,000 car.
Of course it's comfortable.
Well, fine. When we get to Hollywood,
if you like it so much, I'll buy you one.
- What's the matter with you? - When we get you to Hollywood.
Nothing's the matter with me!
You're so goddamn stupid.
You think you're gonna
walk down the streets of Hollywood,
and you're gonna meet some goddamn producer,
- Wait a minute. What are you talking about? - and he's gonna make you a movie star!
You told me that if I went to Hollywood...
I told you lots of things
because you were freaking out on me!
All I wanted you was do for you to like me.
Well, I like you!
You like me?
Yes, I like you.
You know, I've been thinking all night,
and I'll tell you what,
you ain't right for me.
You're a goddamn hustler! That's what you are!
You want to know who I am?
I'm the girl
who's going to punch you right in the nose!
You don't understand anything about me, do you?
What's that?
What the hell is that?
Look at that. Oh, what is this?
Slow down.
Why does it only happen to me?
Do you believe this?
- Wait, I'm trying to drive. - Just slow down!
- I can't. You crazy? How am I going to slow down? - Just slow down. Damn it!
I can't see.
Look at...
What the hell was that?
Oh, my God.
Oh, this is cute.
Oh, my God.
Look what happened.
Hello, smart-a boy.
You know what we do
to finks and traitors?
It was a joke, man.
A joke?
Sorry.
You're sorry, huh?
- Listen... - After it's too late
to do anything about it!
I am going to mark you
with the gumball gun.
No!
Hee hee hee!
Now you are marked for life!
Arrivederci.
Vitamin C?
Just for good luck.
You really think we got a chance?
Ha ha!
- Hey, Roscoe. - Las Vegas, now arriving...
Don't ask me, Clancy.
But what happened?
Look, I'm tired.
All I want to do is go home.
They beat me. You understand?
Didn't you nail any of them?
Look, just don't ask me.
Jesus, Roscoe! All that...
Clancy!
Roscoe.
You look terrible.
Arrrgh!
Well, it's one of those Los Angeles days, Gene.
We're hovering over the Civic Center.
We can see traffic backing up.
We've got a sig alert working now on the Santa Monica,
and the Pasadena is jammed as usual.
Golden State's moving, but just barely,
and the Long Beach is a sea of cars.
Should continue to be like this for another hour.
We advise using surface streets wherever possible,
and try to stay calm and composed.
There must be another way.
God, oh, God.
Oh, Christ.
The engine is too hot.
I guess we're just a little bit too smart for them, old buddy.
That's right, my friend. Smooth sailing from here to Long Beach.
Yep, I think I'll have me a cigar.
My wife is pregnant!
Come on, give me a hand, will you?
Bug off, jerk!
No.
Oh, no.
Avila, no way.
I don't want to hear it, Avila.
"To serve and to protect."
Huh?
Hey! They're going to stop.
Right here!
Pull in!
Pull in, officer!
Oh, God. Thank you, officer.
Help! My wife is pregnant.
She's going to have a baby.
Her water just broke.
I tried to get these guys to help me.
They wouldn't help.
Come on! Help me!
You assholes! Here! Here!
Oh, Jesus, you're sent from heaven.
I'm going to make it, Clare!
Okay, now just relax.
Just be cool. Be calm.
We'll take care of everything. Don't...
Please don't bite my hand.
Hey, you asshole! Yeah, you!
Hey! Wait a minute!
We can use the river.
There's an access road to the right.
It runs all the way to Long Beach.
No, no, no. West. West.
West?
West.
Look at that!
That's Bannon.
What the hell? Get off of here.
Get off.
Where's that next one?
It's on your left.
Okay!
Look out, you damn fools!
Right out of there!
You're not allowed down there!
Up yours!
You can't go down there!
Stop!
Turn right. Hit it!
I never raced in a river before.
Okay, the lights are set for 32 miles per hour.
- All right. - Just keep going on Sepulveda.
Okay, hang on.
Smile.
Where are we going now?
32 miles an hour.
Looks like we've got some water coming up!
- I don't see anything. - How deep is it in here?
Here goes.
Hold it. Keep the rims high! Don't stall it out.
I can't see anything.
Come on, come on, take him!
Take him!
Watch out for the slick spaces.
That's what I mean!
Oh!
The noise is terrific!
Go! Go!
Okay, okay, okay, let's go.
There's a real big drain coming up.
Whoo!
Go right!
Really hustle.
All right, now, now.
Go!
I got him.
Come on, you got him! You got him!
Whoo!
Where do we turn?
Turn into it! Into it! Into it!
Turn coming up. Turn coming up!
Where's Franco now?
Damn it!
Okay, Franco, watch out.
Block him on this turn.
Hang on, Sam.
- All right. Ride him. Ride him. - Watch out.
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
Okay, second gear!
Move! Move! Move!
Ya-hoo!
I'll tell you what the trouble is with you, Ace,
is you don't have a sense of humor.
This whole thing is rigged for fun!
Don't talk to me.
Well, come on, buddy. Cheer up.
Hey, we're just about there.
We're just about to smell
the Queen Mary's butt.
Whoo!
Hey, where the hell do you think you're going?
Whoo!
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
How's this for style?
We'll come whipping in on two wheels!
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Gibson!
Hey, I've seen you do it a hundred times. I practiced.
Think I can get in the show?
I think you're making a mistake!
No, I got this on the road!
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
What's the matter with you?
Whoo!
Yee-hah!
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Damn! I almost had it.
What do you think I did wrong?
I think I'm going to be sick.
It's a wreck or something.
It always happens when I'm in a hurry.
- Aah! - Aah!
It's a suicide!
Look at my car, you jerk!
You dumb jerk! Look at my car.
What do you think you're going?
You got a driver's license?
You people see what he did to my car?
I don't care. I have no money.
If you want to put me in jail,
that's okay with me. I could use the sleep.
I was just about to get the car repainted anyway.
Oh, this is my girlfriend, Angie.
From New York.
Are you sure everything's okay, Mr. Blakely?
You wouldn't happen to be an actress,
would you, miss, uh...
Blanche. Why, yes. How'd you guess?
Well, you have what we call...
presence.
Well, if it bothers you,
I can put on my jacket.
Why don't we go inside?
I have to do a lot of entertaining.
I'm in the movie business, and it's part of the game.
Go, baby!
Aah!
Yee-hah-hah!
What's the matter with you?
Ha ha ha ha!
Am I clear?
Yes, you're clear.
Go.
Cut them off. Cut them off.
Good going.
Just make it to that parking lot.
It's only 2 miles.
No problem.
Relax, relax.
Clear on the right.
There it is.
Let's hope Emergency Plan Alpha works.
Emergency Plan Alpha?
Go.
God damn it! Quick. Oh, that's a cheap move.
Terrific.
Take him.
On the right. On the right.
I got it, I got it, I got it.
Go! Go!
Get him now!
Okay.
What are you doing? What are you doing?
I've been waiting for you.
What took you so long?
Hey!
Ha ha! It worked! It worked!
She's a trap! Get out of here!
Oh, no. Jesus.
- I'll come back. - Wait, Franco.
Get out of here!
- Arigato. - Please, move.
Arigato.
Franco. Wait, Franco!
Bellisima!
33 hours and 57 minutes.
A new record! How's that, Mike?
- Great going, Sam. - I thought you were in traffic.
Smith was going down.
Hey, two more.
Alice and Jane and the cops.
I want to thank my mother,
I want to thank my friends,
I want to thank my loved ones.
I want to thank you...
Hey! Listen, listen, I want to thank you guys
for me and Mr. "Guts."
Because if you hadn't picked us up,
we'd have still been back there
on the freeways of America.
Now what do you say we celebrate, huh?
Get over here.
Hey! Shut up.
Shut up.
Um...
Yay! Whoo.
What can I say?
It just, uh...
just makes me sick.
Angie! Angie baby! Ha ha!
Oh, baby. Ha ha ha!
Hey, Roscoe!
Roscoe.
Come on, have a drink.
Don't add insult to injury, Bannon.
Maybe next year.
There isn't going to be any next year.
I'm retiring,
and you're not gonna have Roscoe to kick around anymore.
Wouldn't be the same without you.
Someday, Bannon,
you and Smith.
Well, you know, I was thinking about retiring, too.
Huh.
No, really.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha!
It's a raid!
Come on.
Follow me. Follow me.
Get those trucks over here.
Over here. That's right.
Down the line.
Come on, come on.
I told you I'd win, didn't I?
Come on.
Okay, come on. Move them out.
That's the ticket. Do that.
Roscoe, what's going on here?
Well, as of 11:00,
you are illegally parked.
That's according
to California Vehicle Code
number 22658.
Huh?
22658.
Give me your name and serial number!
I want your name and serial number!
Get on, man!
At any rate,
the fines will be levied,
and they will be hauled away.
Perfect.
Move them out!
That's right. Come on.
Let's go.
Let's go. Move it.
Come on, move them out.
That's the idea.
Keep that one going.
Come on, come on. Move it along.
Those, too. Get out of here.
Come on.
That's right, that's right. All right.
Hey.
Hey! Hey!
We're a bit late.
I hope we didn't miss the fun.
Maybe next year!
Um...
How are you gonna get back to New York?
I hadn't given it much thought.
This is ridiculous.
Where do you get cars around here?
Come on. It's America, babe.
Gumball.
He's here.
Look!
What the hell is he doing?
Looks like his throttle is stuck.
Oh, shit!